Axel (Ride Series Book 3) Read online

  I watched him drink, my hand stroking over his soft hair as his eyes began to droop. My own eyes wanted to follow, but I forced them open long enough to finish up and put my sweet boy to bed.

  He’d just started sleeping through the night. How I’d gotten through those first few months of him waking every few hours or better yet, nights he didn’t sleep at all, I still didn’t know.

  I showered and dressed for bed, climbing in under my covers. Maddox slept in a small alcove in the living room that was meant to be an office space. I’d tried having him sleep in my room, but that didn’t seem to work for either one of us. It wasn’t like I had a social life that our living situation disrupted.

  I was lonely, desperately so, and at times, terrified of the future. But I was also a hell of a lot stronger than I’d ever realized. I was proud of the woman I was, of the mother I’d been from the moment the nurses placed Maddox in my arms asking where his daddy was.

  Chapter 2

  “How about that guy from 3B?” Jill prodded as we sat on her couch, each with a glass of wine in hand. She was referring to our neighbor who’d asked me out repeatedly.

  Both boys were crashed out in Mason’s room. This was the only way either of us got a ‘night out’ and we took advantage whenever possible.

  I wrinkled my brow and shook my head. “No spark,” I sighed.

  “You always say that.” She rolled her eyes heavenward. Jill was beautiful and exotic looking with her Native American ancestry. Her dark hair shone with a gorgeous gloss I often had to reach out and touch. She was seven years older than me, but I’d never even noticed the age difference.

  “Well, it’s true,” I defended with a huff.

  “Soph,” she sighed. “I know you don’t like to talk about your past and you know I won’t pry. But whatever it was – whatever it is, don’t you think it’s time to move on? You’re gorgeous. You look amazing and you just had a baby six months ago– you lucky bitch,” she snarked with a grin. “Go out, meet a hot man and let him take you to bed!” she coaxed.

  I blushed and shook my head. My only experience with sex had started out amazing and ended with him freaking out with a capital F.

  I thought back to that evening so often the binding of the book in my memory was well worn.

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Fine,” she sighed, as she always did when the subject came up.

  “Tim’s coming home soon,” I put in, trying to distract her by mentioning her husband. He’d been gone for three months and was due back the following week.

  “Yeah,” she smiled, though it didn’t touch her eyes. She didn’t talk about Tim much and I’d never pried. God knows, I had my own secrets.

  “I’m glad.” I squeezed her hand briefly. “I’m beat, time for bed,” I announced, rising to stretch. “I’ll go sneak in and grab Mad,” I said around a yawn.

  “Thanks for hanging out,” she smiled.

  “Anytime.” I grinned back with a wink. Jill was a true friend. It killed me that she could only know a piece of me, but I’d take what I could get.

  I fell asleep that night thinking about that damned spark. I thought about how it was so fierce with Axel; it was almost a life force all its own. Maybe I’d just be alone forever since I couldn’t seem to settle for anything less.

  *****

  “Bella, your order’s up!” Dwayne called the next evening.

  I rolled my eyes at the most southern man I’d ever known calling me ‘Bella’ but he’d done it from day one. We’d seriously discussed a name change for him over a bottle of Chianti one night, but had quickly moved on to discuss men, his favorite subject. The man was many things – someone who fit the name ‘Dwayne’ wasn’t one of them.

  To me, Dwayne was a name for a cattle rancher or maybe a mechanic down on his luck. It certainly didn’t fit with my leopard print and sequin shirt-wearing friend whose hips swayed so dramatically when he walked, I was worried he’d end up with permanent damage.

  The tips were great on weekends, and if I had to deal with prima donna Dwayne, then so be it. Truth be told, I sort of loved the guy. Though I’d never tell him that; he’d force that high-school musical movie marathon party on me, which he’d threatened me with from the moment we met. He promised it would be the best night of our lives. Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t convinced.

  “Got it,” I answered, sweeping in to gather the steaming platters of eggplant parmesan and penne primavera.

  When I turned to deliver the food, I nearly dropped it on the floor. Henry, the president of The Sinners, a motorcycle club who partnered often with the Knights, and his lady were sitting in front of a bottle of wine waiting for their food. I’d switched mid-shift with Betty and had no idea they were here until now.

  “Shit,” I breathed. I didn’t think they’d seen me, but I spun on my heel nonetheless. “D, can you please deliver these to table 5,” I hissed with panic.

  “Why, sugar?” he asked, looking over my shoulder in question.

  “Please, they’re nice people. I just…I can’t see them. Please?” I asked again, unable to curb my clear desperation.

  He looked at me with concern before nodding. “Sure thing, sugar plum,” he agreed, taking the platter from me and strutting his way to their table.

  I hid out in the kitchen until Dwayne gave me the all-clear. He covered all my tables for that hour. I owed him a favor, which meant I’d likely be seeing a lot of Zac Efron in my future.

  “Thanks,” I sighed, shoving off from the counter I sat on.

  “No problem, honey.” He patted my leg and didn’t ask anything more.

  Another week went by. Mad was cutting a tooth so I was exhausted when I walked in that evening to start my shift. I felt like a zombie with a notepad as I moved from table to table.

  “Table 10’s a hottie!” Dwayne squealed with a wink. I gave him a small nod and with half a grin, headed in that direction.

  “Can I take your order?” I asked, my eyes on my notepad.

  “I’ll have the lasagna – and you,” the familiar voice answered.

  My heart stopped. I gasped, my eyes wide, all exhaustion forgotten and replaced with adrenalin.

  I looked up into familiar grey eyes and felt panic and lust all at once.

  “Hi, Soph,” he greeted, his tone calm, though his eyes glittered with an unspoken emotion.

  He looked amazing. His hair was shorter, the familiar curls gone but his beard remained. He looked bigger, more muscular but it was possible I’d forgotten how big he’d always been.

  “H-hi,” I stammered. “What are you doing here?”

  “What am I doing here?” he growled incredulously. “What the hell are you doing here, Sophie?” he demanded.

  My eyes darted nervously around the restaurant. “You should go.” My voice betrayed my worry.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he shook his head, his eyes sweeping my frame.

  “Ax, seriously. I left for a reason. A good one. You should go,” I hissed.

  “Can’t,” he shook his head.

  My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you can’t?”

  He leaned forward in the booth, his hand reaching out to clasp my wrist. “I’ve spent over a year tormented over you, Sophie. We are going to talk. And I’m not leaving until we do.”

  Oh, hell no. Just…no.

  “Tormented over me?” I asked incredulously. “Since when? What?” I stammered, truly dumbfounded.

  “That could be part of the talking portion.” he shrugged.

  He said it so casually as though his hot and cold behavior had been no big deal. It pissed me right the hell off.

  “You never could decide what you wanted from me. I’m not the same girl you knew.” I shook my head. “I don’t have time for this. I advise you to go straight back to Hawthorne,” I told him sternly, turning on my heel and rushing to the kitchen.

  What was he even doing here? It had to have been Henry. I could have sworn he hadn’t seen me. My heart was pounding so hard; I
was worried I’d need an ambulance at this rate. I collapsed on the ground next to the stove, panting for breath. Another shift hiding out in the kitchen, great way to keep a job.

  When the door swung open, I winced as his motorcycle boots came into view. He heaved a sigh and crouched in front of me. “I knew this wouldn’t be easy.” His voice was gentle as he lifted my chin to force me to look in his eyes. “But, Soph, it’s not just me. Your brother, Kat, all of us miss you like hell. We’ve been searching for you, worried about you for over a year. You’re family. We’re going to talk,” he commanded, his beautiful eyes glittering with intensity.

  I shook my head. “You should go.”

  “Everything okay in here, sugar?” Dwayne’s high voice broke in.

  I looked up at him in alarm. “Yes, fine. He was just leaving. Sorry, I’ll get back to work.”

  Dwayne looked me over and met my eyes, cocking his head in question.

  I nodded, letting him know I was really okay.

  My eyes shifted back to Axel. “I have to get back,” I murmured.

  “I’ll wait, drive you home after your shift,” he stated, rising and pulling me to my feet. His touch alone sent electricity zinging down my arm.

  “No!” I practically shouted in alarm at the thought of him driving me home.

  His eyes narrowed. “You have a man at home?”

  Yes, a very small one, I thought frantically.

  He eyed me keenly, our intensity blistering as it always did. Some things never did change. “Do you?” he demanded quietly.

  “No,” I whispered.

  “Good,” he whispered back, his voice hoarse as he took me in.

  “But you’re not driving me home. It was good to see you, Ax. Tell everyone…” my voice caught, “tell them I miss them and hope they’re well.” I gave him the small smile I’d like to think I’d perfected. The one I could plaster on my face despite inner desolation threatening to swallow me whole. I’d had to wear it most of my life. I pushed my way out of the kitchen to see about my tables.

  I spent my entire shift alternating between plotting where Mad and I should move next and freaking out over how amazing it had been to see Axel. I felt like someone had taken my heart and injected it with steroids.

  When I got off at eleven that night, I snuck out the back. It opened into a dimly lit alley and I thought I’d be golden if he was still waiting all these hours later out front.

  “You think I’d wait out front?” he chuckled, his tone nearly affronted.

  I jumped about a mile in the air and smacked him in the chest. “You scared me!” I screeched.

  “Soph, seriously, give me more credit.” He grinned through the dim light. “Let’s go get a drink.” He cocked his head toward the street.

  I looked at him, biting my lip, debating whether I could realistically escape him. He stared back at me, watching my inner turmoil and allowing me to come to the only conclusion possible.

  I sighed in defeat. “Fine. I just need to check on something,” I responded, firing off a text to Jill.

  She was annoyingly thrilled that I wanted to stay out later. She said the boys were already crashed out and I should take as long as I wanted. I responded, telling her that her amount of exclamations marks needed to be toned down.

  Seriously.

  “Fine, one drink,” I agreed, going against my better judgment. “But,” I held up a finger, “you’re not driving me home.”

  “Whatever you want,” he agreed – all too easily.

  We walked in silence to a nearby bar I’d never been to. Sitting at the bar, side by side, he ordered us both a beer and swiveled slightly to face me.

  “I’m so fucking glad you’re okay. Christ, Sophie,” he breathed, running a hand over his beard; something he always seemed to do when he was stressed.

  “Yeah, I’m okay,” I replied quietly.

  “Why the hell did you take off like that? How could you do that to us?” he demanded heatedly.

  I narrowed my eyes at him, the heat rising in my cheeks. “Us?” I demanded. “First of all, I feel like shit for leaving everyone – they were all so good to me,” I swallowed. “I love my brother. It meant the world to me to get to know him in a way I never had before. Given all that, don’t you think it’s fair to assume I had my reasons?” I shot back.

  “What the fuck about me, huh?” he growled.

  “What about you?” I shot back passionately as his eyes narrowed. I took a deep breath, trying to bring down the intensity a bit. “Look, I don’t want to fight. It is good to see you,” I nodded. “I just…I feel stupid really, naïve,” I shrugged.

  “Why?” he asked when I’d paused, my embarrassment reaching a crescendo.

  “I had thought maybe…maybe you and me…” I trailed off. “Sometimes the way you would look at me, I saw something there, but then you’d tell me I was too young or that I was Sal’s sister. It was always mixed messages with you,” I shook my head.

  “We’ll get to that,” he interrupted. “I want to know why you left. What the hell are you doing in Texas?”

  “We’ll get to that,” I retorted, throwing his words back at him.

  We stared at each other in silent challenge before he nodded once and turned his gaze to his drink. I practically slumped back into my chair, relieved not to be the focus of his intensity for a few moments.

  He completely undid me, always had.

  “How are Sal and Kat?” I asked, unable to temper my curiosity and wanting to change the subject.

  “They’re good,” he nodded. “They got married when they were in Spain,” he told me, rocking my world.

  “What! That’s great!” I exclaimed, happy for my brother, while aching with regret that I’d missed so much.

  “Yeah,” he agreed.

  “How’s everyone else?”

  “You should come home and see,” he challenged.

  “How are you?” I asked quietly, ignoring his comment.

  He turned to me, his hand reaching out to sweep my hair back from my neck. That slight touch made me shiver. He didn’t miss it. “I’ll be a lot better when my girl’s home where she belongs,” he answered without preamble.

  Uh, what?

  “Since when…?” I trailed off, utterly shocked.

  “Since always, Soph,” he answered. “You and me, we have some shit to sort out. You need to tell me why you left and I need to prove to you that you’re mine.”

  Oh, God, how I’d fantasized about hearing something like this from him. Now? Now I couldn’t do anything about it.

  “Ax, this isn’t just about you and me,” I swallowed over the huge lump in my throat. “If it’s guilt you’re feeling or something like it, seriously, you can let that go. It’s not why I left,” I told him seriously. “I want you to be happy. I hope you will be.”

  He looked at me, his eyes searching through to my very soul. “You’re telling me there’s no chance for us – none?” he demanded.

  I met his gaze, knowing I needed to. “None,” I whispered.

  “I don’t believe you,” he growled, vindication in his tone. No doubt he’d caught the lie in my eyes. He always seemed to be able to do that.

  I looked at the time on my phone and winced. I knew Jill had it covered but Mad wasn’t sleeping so well with his teething. “I have to go,” I told him. “I’m sorry. It was good to see you,” I said quietly, sliding off my barstool and delivering a quick kiss to his cheek.

  I slipped out of there before he could stop me.

  “Sophie!” I heard his deep voice holler when I’d reached the sidewalk.

  I took a deep breath, bracing myself before turning to meet his gorgeous face.

  “What?” I asked impatiently.

  “This,” his deep voice growled, pulling me into his big body with such force I had to put my hands up against his chest to stop from slamming into him.

  Then his mouth was on mine with a kiss so consuming my knees literally went weak. His tongue stroked mine wit
h beautiful skill, breaking only for his teeth to nip my lower lip, licking the sting away. His hands buried themselves in my hair tugging slightly as moisture pooled between my legs.

  I wanted to climb up his body and claim him. I wanted him to lay me down and do the same.

  We stood ravishing each other until I felt short of breath, until my lips felt raw and swollen.

  Oh, but what delicious pain.

  “You tell me now that there won’t be an us,” he challenged, his forehead pressed to mine.

  I wanted to ask why he seemed so clear about things when he clearly hadn’t been a year ago. I had so many questions. Mainly when he’d kiss me again.

  But this wasn’t about me.

  “I have to go.” My voice was hoarse and unrecognizable to my own ears.

  I pulled away, taking a deep breath, trying to pull myself together – and failing miserably.

  “This isn’t over,” he replied. “You and me, we’re just starting.”

  I gave him a small smile. “I wish that were true.” I replied, turning and walking away.

  I caught a cab home in my rush, knowing I wasted nearly my entire evening’s tips with the fare. I tapped quietly on Jill’s door and went in to gather my boy and carry him home.

  “Have fun?” Jill questioned with an excited whisper.

  “You could say that, sort of,” I answered vaguely. “Night.”

  I slipped out of her place with Mad sleeping on my shoulder, a blanket wrapped around his warm body.

  As I moved to unlock my door, I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I gasped, dropping my keys on the ground, the clatter ricocheting off the concrete walls. Axel’s formidable frame stole some of the light as he stood towering in the hallway.

  He moved closer, his expression thunderous and confused. I held my fingers to my lips praying he wouldn’t wake Mad. He nodded, his movement jerky as he eyed the sleeping bundle I carried.

  I put the key in the lock and pushed inside. Axel seemed so big in our small space.

  I went to put the baby to bed when he stirred. I braced, biting my lip hard. He lifted his body away from my chest and blinked, looking around the room.