Axel (Ride Series Book 3) Page 5

  “We’ll see.” I rolled my eyes. The state of Axel and me was still far from clear. “When Tim goes out of town again, will you come visit?” I asked hopefully.

  “Sure,” she agreed with the brittle smile I was used to seeing when her husband was mentioned.

  I would make sure she kept that agreement, planning on scraping enough money together to fly her and Mason out.

  I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realize Axel had been speaking to me.

  “Soph?” he said, his tone concerned as he pulled me from my thoughts.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him, popping a pacifier in Mad’s mouth so the landing wouldn’t hurt his ears.

  I watched the desert from below, the sun and landscape I’d missed so much welcoming me home.

  “What a beautiful little boy!” an older woman cooed as we stood waiting to deplane.

  “Thank you,” I responded, holding Mad as Axel gathered up our things. It was still so odd to have someone else help with Mad and with life in general. Axel handled everything with my landlord while I’d dealt with giving notice at work. Axel made my sudden departure as easy as he could on me; though no one could have stopped Dwayne’s temper tantrum and subsequent meltdown.

  A part of me was afraid of becoming reliant on the help, as though it could all just suddenly disappear.

  “Look at that. He has his daddy’s eyes.” She smiled.

  I met Axel’s heated gaze for a moment, his emotion boiling just below the surface. He liked that people knew instantly that Mad was his. A lot. I returned her smile and followed the rest of the passengers off the small airplane.

  We gathered up the three large suitcases, portable crib and car seat we’d checked. When it came down to it, Mad and I didn’t have many belongings. The apartment had come furnished and I’d bought very little, trying to keep a tight budget.

  “Ready?” he asked, looking down at me.

  “Yep,” I muttered not sure at all if I meant it.

  Maddox fell asleep in the back of Axel’s truck as we drove the hour to his place just outside of Hawthorne. I’d never even been there, and agreeing to live there with my baby might have been one of the crazier things I’d done.

  Aside from the whole getting knocked up by a biker, getting my trust fund cut off and going the single working-mother route for the past year business.

  Yeah, aside from all that.

  We drove farther outside of town than I would have expected and into the mountains, the landscape growing more rugged with a thick layer of pine lining the road on either side.

  “I didn’t realize you lived in the boons.”

  “I like the space and the quiet.” He shrugged, glancing at me with as close to a shy grin as I’d ever seen on him. If possible, it made him more handsome.

  We pulled down an unpaved road to a house I instantly loved.

  It looked like a contemporary cabin, but large with a welcoming wrap-around porch. It had a tin roof, practical for snow in the winter and huge windows lining the majority of the home.

  “It’s beautiful,” I sighed as he cut the engine. The quiet was deafening for a moment as I tried to absorb the fact that this was home, for now at least.

  He looked over at me, searching my face. “Glad you like it,” he replied after a long moment. Something about his tone made me realize how important that was to him. “He’s out,” he commented, his tone lightening as he tilted his head in Mad’s direction.

  I looked back and smiled tenderly at my son. “It’s been a big day. I bet he’ll sleep a while longer if we carry him inside and put him someplace quiet.”

  Axel nodded, moving to the back and carrying our son inside.

  The interior was just as beautiful as the outside. We walked into a great room with vaulted ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out to the wilderness beyond. The kitchen was dated but practical with what looked like lots of storage.

  He led me down a hall to the left, pointing out an office, a guestroom and a master at the end.

  He set Mad down in the master, still sleeping peacefully in his car seat and shut the door quietly.

  “What were you thinking the sleeping arrangements would be?” I asked as we wandered back out to the living room. I collapsed on one of the two sofas in the large room. Both were worn, a bit shabby even, but so comfortable I never wanted to get up.

  He shrugged. “I can easily move my office into the mudroom downstairs. We can turn the office into his nursery. As for you,” he continued, his voice dropping an octave. “You can sleep in the guestroom – until you’re ready to move into my room.”

  I fought the panic that threatened to overtake me. “This is all moving really fast.” I swallowed audibly as his eyes narrowed. “For now, can we just put Mad’s crib in the office and I’ll crash in the guestroom?”

  He eyed me intently for a few beats. “For now,” he allowed and I knew it cost him.

  I laid my head back against the couch looking up at the ceiling, relieved he wasn’t going to push further.

  “When did you move here?”

  “This was my granddad’s place. Mad’s namesake,” he added. “He left it to me and Ry in his will,” he continued, referring to his younger brother who was also a member of the Knights. “When he died, Gran was already in a home. I bought Ry out; he didn’t want to be this far from town. He helped me with a lot of the updates. We broke down a lot of the walls, opened the place up, and added a hell of a lot more windows. All kinds of shit.” He shrugged. “That was close to five years ago now.”

  “It looks beautiful,” I told him sincerely. “It’s really far from town,” I added absently, though I didn’t mind it. Once I moved to Hawthorne, I soon realized I liked the small town. I loved the desert juxtaposed with the mountains. I loved that the heat was dry, not bogged down with humidity like New York and God, Dallas. There hadn’t been anything like that heat.

  “We’ll get you a car.” He shrugged.

  “I still don’t know how to drive,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks heat.

  His brows rose in surprise. “Seriously?”

  I looked down at the fraying seam of the sofa. “Seriously. Will you teach me?” Though I liked the scenery, I had no desire to be stranded in the mountains or beholden to Axel to get me around all the time.

  A look of possession passed over his features before he nodded. “You bet,” he agreed.

  *****

  Maddox fussed all night. It was 2 a.m. and I was ducking into the office for the fifth time.

  Axel was already there. I stopped short, watching as his shirtless form held our boy, murmuring to him in his deep baritone voice.

  There was something about that moment; such tenderness pooling from this formidable man. A man who hadn’t known he had a son a week ago yet accepted him, seemed to have fallen in love with him as instantly as I had.

  “He’s never slept anywhere else,” I explained with a whisper, moving to stroke my hand over his soft head of hair. “I think I’ll just see if he’ll sleep with me,” I added.

  “Come on, my bed’s bigger,” he murmured.

  “But—” I tried to protest.

  He cut me off. “He’ll feel better if we’re both there.”

  Part of me wanted to argue further but mostly I wanted to give him this – the confidence to feel he could comfort our baby. I was touched he wanted to try.

  So it ended up that we shared Axel’s huge king-sized bed with Maddox stretched out and sleeping peacefully between us.

  Axel and I shared a look, gazing at each other from opposite sides of the bed as his large hand lay sprawled gently over our son’s belly.

  I smiled at him, the first true smile I’d had in as long as I could remember. The kind that started from the inside and shone outward like a beacon.

  “There it is,” he rasped, his eyes shining with joy.

  “What?” I asked quietly.

  “My light,” he replied simply.

  We spent the next
few days settling in. Maddox started sleeping more peacefully in his new room, which meant I was back to the guest room much to Axel’s very clear displeasure. I got to work on his home that, though more organized than I would have expected, was lacking in essentials. He needed everything from new towels to pots and pans.

  “You ever miss it?” he asked as we meandered through Target with Mad noisily chewing a teething cracker in the cart. Axel had been determined to come with us and I was still trying to get used to seeing this intimidating looking man casually draped over the bright red cart as we strolled the aisles.

  “What?” I asked absently.

  “The money.” He shrugged, surprising me with his line of thinking.

  “Not really,” I replied and he cocked a brow at my response as though he didn’t believe me. “It wasn’t like I could do anything with it that I really wanted to anyway,” I explained. “I couldn’t even buy the clothes I wanted, listen to the music I would have, or experiment with well…anything. In the end, it was all just another way for them to try to control me. So now I shop here instead of Nieman Marcus.” I shrugged as I ran my hands over some throw pillows absently. “At least I get to pick what I like without someone else defining that for me.”

  “So you don’t miss any of it?” he pressed.

  I sighed. “I mean, sure, if I really think about it, I miss having someone cook for me since I’m crap at it.” I smiled though I really shouldn’t be. My cooking was deadly as I’d discovered over the last year. Thank God I’d just been cooking for myself and once for Jill. After that attempt, she always just had me over. “I miss my bathtub; it was killer. But I guess as far as possessions go, I still regret leaving my grandmother’s necklace. She gave it to me when I turned fifteen. It was beautiful and one of the few sentimental things I owned. But I couldn’t find it in my rush to leave.” I bit my lip and looked away from his penetrating gaze. “Other than that it’s all just stuff.” I shrugged. “Do you need dish cloths?” I asked, ready to change the subject.

  He looked at me for a moment longer before he nodded. “Yeah, babe, we probably do.” He made sure to emphasize the ‘we’ as I threw a few into the cart.

  Chapter 6

  “I’ve got somewhere to take you two,” he stated after loading everything into the back of the truck.

  I turned to him in surprise. I assumed we’d be headed back to his place. Maddox was going to need a nap soon.

  It was as though he knew I was considering protesting when he turned to look at me. “It’s important.” There was a weighted silence as his jaw flexed. “To me,” he added gruffly.

  That was all he needed to say. “Okay,” I nodded. It was early yet, hopefully Mad would hang in a while longer.

  We drove north for a few miles, my curiosity growing though I held back from asking any questions. He’d share when he was ready. He always allowed me that space and I’d give the same to him.

  The answer was soon clear without my having to ask.

  When we pulled into the Oakcrest Nursing Home and parked, he sighed. “She has good days and bad days,” he shared, looking straight ahead and rubbing a hand over his beard. “But I’m hoping today’s a good day. Regardless, I want her to meet Maddox – and you.”

  I knew little about Axel’s family but I did know through passing conversations that his grandma and late grandfather had been pivotal for him and Ry growing up.

  I was moved that he was so intent on introducing us.

  I reached over, tentatively placing a hand on his forearm. “We’d like to meet her, too,” I assured him softly.

  He threw me a rueful smile and cut the engine.

  The smell hit me first – like old food and disinfectant. I fought the urge to wrinkle my nose against it and instead held Maddox closer. As I tried to keep up with Axel’s long strides down the hall, I noted that although outdated, the facility looked clean and well cared for.

  “She’s in here,” he nodded, indicating an open door to the right.

  Axel’s grandmother was sitting up in a bed that nearly swallowed her small frame. She looked over at us when we walked in, her face blank for a few moments before her expression warmed.

  “My boy,” she smiled, holding her hands out. Axel stooped down, allowing her to cup his face. “I’ll never get used to this beard,” she tisked.

  “Had it ten years, Gran,” he chuckled, stepping back and looking over at me.

  “You’ve brought company,” she nodded, looking over at Mad and me curiously.

  Axel brought his arm up putting it around my shoulders and bringing us closer. “I did, very important company,” he told her. “Gran, this is Sophie, my girl,” he explained and my heart fluttered. “Sophie, this is my gran, Sybil.”

  I gave her a little wave.

  “And this is our son – Maddox.”

  For a moment, she didn’t react and I braced for a variety of reactions. I hoped she didn’t have a heart condition because that was quite a ball to drop. Before I could grow too concerned, a slow smile spread across her face.

  “Bring that baby closer so my old eyes can see him,” she beckoned. Axel lifted him from my arms and brought him closer.

  “Aren’t you beautiful,” she crooned to him, her hand moving over his chubby cheek. “I see your grandfather so clearly,” she stated, her voice full of wonder as she looked up at Axel. “Don’t you?”

  He nodded once, his jaw flexing. I bit back tears at how moved he clearly was.

  “And you, beautiful girl, let me see you.” She raised a hand toward me. I moved closer, offering a tentative smile. “Well, aren’t you a looker,” she grinned, cupping my cheeks the way she’d done Axel’s.

  “Thank you,” I murmured. “It’s great to meet you, Sybil.”

  “It’s wonderful to meet you; though, you’re giving an old lady quite the surprise!” she chortled.

  Axel cleared his throat. “It’s a long story, Gran,” he responded.

  That was one way of putting it.

  She waved her hand. “I’m sure. All I care about is spending time with my great grandchild. Will you bring him on your visits?” she asked Axel.

  I wondered how often he came here. He’d never mentioned it.

  “Sure, Gran,” he agreed, sitting Maddox on the bed so he could play with the remote control.

  “Maddox,” she whispered reverently, her eyes moving over Mad though I could tell her thoughts were elsewhere. “He would have loved to meet this baby,” she sighed.

  “I know,” Axel agreed.

  We stayed until Maddox made it known that he was done. It always amazed me how quickly his good mood could take a turn toward a full-blown meltdown.

  “We’ll come back soon,” Axel assured her as we gathered our things.

  “Good,” she clapped her hands together in glee as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. “You too, Sophie, or come back without these boys so I can get the full story,” she winked.

  I blushed. “Okay.”

  “Love you, boy,” she told Axel.

  “Me, too,” he returned, hoisting Maddox up into his arms and leading us out of the room.

  Maddox fell asleep in the truck on the drive back to Axel’s. I knew I shouldn’t bombard him with questions so I cut my thousand questions down to a few.

  “Why is she in a home?” I asked, looking over at him as he watched the road ahead.

  He sighed. “She started forgetting things, leaving the stove on, shit like that. It just wasn’t safe. Ry and I felt like shit putting her in a home but she actually seems to like it. She has friends, so when she’s having a good day, she plays cards with them. The nurses love her,” he smiled.

  “I bet,” I was already in love with her myself. “So that was a good day I take it?”

  “Yeah,” he nodded, sounding relieved. “Even on bad days she still knows who I am, but she doesn’t always remember the year or that my granddad’s gone. She gets confused and agitated. It’s not easy.”

  “I’m sure it
’s not,” I agreed as we began ascending the mountain.

  “How often do you visit her?”

  He shrugged. “Ry and I trade off weeks, but when I have time, I go every week.” His jaw ticked and I could tell the conversation was making him agitated. “When we get back, I’ll help you unload all this shit and then I gotta make some calls,” he added, indicating the subject was closed. For now.

  ******

  Later that day, Axel dropped me and Mad off at Scarlet and Cole’s so he could take care of some ‘club shit’ as he called it.

  “So how’s it going with Axel?” Scarlet asked as we sipped beers in her living room, watching Mad and Gracie get acquainted. So far, that acquaintance had consisted of Gracie toddling over and snatching any toy Maddox seemed interested in.

  I wrinkled my nose and she laughed, her green eyes shining. “I don’t know, good I guess?”

  “Why is that a question?” she laughed.

  “He’s been amazing with Mad. He’s such a natural dad.” I looked over at Maddox and smiled, so grateful every day that my son would have a father who loved him in his life. “Living together has been okay. It’s just a little awkward sometimes,” I admitted.

  “Awkward how?” she asked, rising to let their giant bullmastiff, Chief, in from outside.

  “Well, he’s made it clear he wants to give things a shot. He speaks about it like it’s a forgone conclusion,” I grumbled. “He even took Maddox and me to meet his gran today. But I don’t know if I’m ready for all of this! It’s all been so sudden and he certainly didn’t seem to want me when I came to town before. I still don’t quite believe the intense change of direction, how sure he is about us. So for now, we spend a bunch of time together but we’re also kind of skirting around each other,” I tried to explain.

  “Sometimes it takes something really big for our pig-headed men to understand how they feel about things.” She rolled her eyes. “It was that way for Sal, you know? He had to leave to gain perspective. For Axel, it was your leaving that did it. And, honey, trust me, it did it. That man was not the same when you left.” She shook her head.